I stared at the little piece of blank paper in my hand,
searching my mind for something meaningful and witty and smart to write. But I
had no kids of my own. So how was I going to come up with any parenting advice
that would be believable?
Bribery is a perfectly
acceptable form of parenting, I wrote, before adding my little bit of paper
to the pile of papers intended for my pregnant friend.
Fast forward eight months, and there I was, holding my own
baby girl, feeling like mother nature herself.
And I had no idea just how colourfully my world was going to
explode into a million bits of “What the f*** am I supposed to do now?”.
Starting with breastfeeding. Because no matter how many books you’ve read and
dolls you’ve cuddled in your prenatal classes, the real deal is tough. Like,
ugly-cry tough.
But I digress.
The parenting advice I had so smart-ass-ly come up with
during baby shower games, has turned out to be pretty good advice. Because
today, my little baby girl, SV, is almost three years old (and she’s a big sister
too, just FYI). And I’ve become a master briber. There’s almost nothing she
wouldn’t do, just to get her hands on a bit of chocolate or *gasp* a cupcake.
And yes, I know I should feel really bad about bribing my
kid. But she shamelessly uses kid-ninja mind tricks on me, to get her way. And
something’s gotta give… right?
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